Finally Ready to Tackle the CFL

Anyone who knows me is aware that I'm a big football fan. Long in love with the more traditional aspects of the game, my criticisms of the Canadian Football League have been both well-documented and clearly-articulated (if not eloquently articulated - my comments seldom stray from a spirited "fuck the CFL!")
Ironically, it took me attending a Calgary Stampeders game in Alberta this summer to fully grasp why I hate the CFL, and for all my bones of contention to congeal into one cohesive unit of why I find the league crappy. At the same time, going to a CFL game out west made me realize that this league has a valuable role to play in North American pro football - a role that could be improved with an alteration. Without further ado, let me paint you a picture:
The wind is whipping and the sun is setting on a beautiful southern Alberta day. Calgary's McMahon Stadium is fairly packed; Stampeder fans are making noise - more from an abundance of beer (as this was the weekend before the Calgary Stampede...older Calgarians like to get an early start on the partying) and plenty of suggestively-dressed women than from any solid on-field performance.
Snaggle-toothed Calgary pivot Henry Burris is in the middle of an unquestionably sub-par performance. Poor timing and poor route running from "stud" targets like Ken-Yon Rambo, Joffrey Reynolds and Ryan Thelwell (born in London, ON!) means that Burris is finding less rhythm than a white accountant. This is especially disappointing because the Stamps are playing the Hamilton Tigercats, long the doormat of the CFL's Eastern Division.
Suddenly, something happens and the crowd is pitched into a frenzy. There is cacophonous cheering, howling and laughter. Within a matter of moments the crowd has ratcheted up the decibel level ten-fold.
Did Burris throw a deep score to Marc Boerigter? No. Did a Stamps' d-lineman sack Hamilton's hopeless quarterback Jason Maas? No. Did scores of cute, tipsy Calgarian girls decide to simultaneously flash the crowd? Sadly, no.
A rabbit had run out on the field.
A little bunny, with audacity that Bugs would be proud of, decided to steal the show and start scampering across the 30-yard line. McMahon Stadium's finest ran out on the field, trying to catch the furry little guy. The rabbit showed acceleration that Mike Pringle would envy, and he scuttled halfway across the field, eventually running through the endzone.
The 29,000+ fans couldn't get enough of this. The crowd reaction the rabbit got simply dwarfed any appreciation the home team would receive that evening (in an eventual 37-9 shellacking of Hamilton). A few minutes later, the rabbit made his encore performance, re-entering the field of play to an even louder fan reception.
Through all of this, I sat there taking things in and one idea kept echoing in my mind: bushleague. It was bushleague that a rabbit ran on the field in the first place. It was bushleague that hammered Calgary fans seemed disenchanted with their squad hammering the lowly Ti-cats, yet lost their shit over a small animal scampering across the turf. It was bushleague that Peter Rabbit showed more dexterity than any Hamilton position player the entire game.
Thus, I've drawn the conclusion that the CFL needs a serious facelift.
There's no doubt that in some parts of Canada, the CFL plays an important role. In places like Regina, Winnipeg, Calgary or Edmonton (during the summer) there are no other options for high-level pro sports. Consequently, the CFL is popular in these pockets (I'd argue very popular in Saskatchewan. C'mon, it's Saskatchewan for Christ's sake).
By no means would I suggest that Canada shouldn't have a high level of football. After all, CFL players are still getting paid to play football; I consider that an accomplishment in and of itself. But there's one major thing that I think would make the CFL better: if it became the development league for the NFL.
No doubt, Canadian patriots everywhere are ready to have my neck at this suggestion. But think about it: the NFL's current "farm system", NFL Europa, is floundering over the Atlantic, where futbol is infinitely more special to Europeans than football. Rather than waste marketing potential and plenty of athletic talent over in Europe, why not bring these players and these rules over to Canada? Sure, CFL purists (all 31 of them in the Prairies) would shudder at the rule changes and likely a smaller ratio of Canadian players, but the on-field product would be worlds better.
I've never really understood why we in Canada need the wider field, the obese ball and one fewer down to have a distinct identity. The simple fact of the matter is that most Canadians nowadays follow the NFL more closely than the CFL. NFL players are the best football players in the world; those who can't quite make the NFL are in NFL Europa. Bring these players back to North America - after all, football is a uniquely North American game. Leave Real Madrid, Arsenal and Bayern Munich to the Europeans, and give us a heart-palpitating fourth quarter comeback.
A league comprised of the best players in the CFL and NFL Europa, playing with NFL rules, would give us the highest quality of the sport in Canada. We would have the biggest, strongest, fastest guys who weren't in the NFL and we would finally have rule uniformity in the U.S. and Canada.
If Johnny Canuck has to call me a heretic, so be it. All I know is that hockey is uniquely our (Canada's) game, and football is (or at least should be) a uniquely American game. We should play the sport in Canada how the NFL and the NCAA does. Simply, they play it better.
Perhaps then the on-field performance wouldn't have its thunder stolen by a stray animal.
I'm almost positive that my idea would never happen. Unfortunately, it's nothing more than a pipe dream. But, football fans: just don't tell me that we couldn't have it better here.