Bane of the Bookies' Existence

Let me tell you something: I don’t know a whole lot.

I’m an expert of … not very much at all. Aside from expounding on the gridiron, an occasional Jeopardy category, a live Dave Matthews Band performance or atlas geography, I’ve learned to wisely zip my lid.

But if there’s one thing in the sports world I’ve observed that needs to be said, it’s the parity of early-season football.

It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about the NFL or the NCAA (I won’t be discussing the CFL in this column; sorry, pained TiCats fans), football is more competitive than I can ever remember it being.

With the notable exception of the New England Patriots — the one NFL team looking like they could destroy humanity, let alone the league’s competition — it seems anybody could beat anybody this season.

Green Bay Packers quarterback Brett Favre is so old that life insurance salesmen everywhere are salivating, yet the grizzled vet has led the Pack to a 3-0 record. The Cleveland Browns — the Cleveland Browns — scored more than Dirk Diggler last week en route to a barn-burning win against the cross-state Bengals. The New Orleans Saints, who most experts perceived as an NFC powerhouse in the pre-season, are looking as inept as Miss Teen South Carolina. Peyton Manning and the Colts squeaked one out against the division-rival Tennessee Titans last week.

Moral of the story: what in the Sam hell is going on with the NFL’s supposed contenders?

It goes beyond the pros. College football has been littered with head-scratchers so far this season. Perennial powerhouses Michigan and Notre Dame stumbled out of the gate; the Pac-10 conference looks like Popeye while the mighty SEC looks like Pop Warner.

Many people find sports betting and offering “expert” analysis zesty enterprises, but the unpredictable football season thus far has made that quite difficult. For a more laissez-faire fan, football has been a dream so far; simply a case of kicking back and watching some wild match-ups. But there surely has to be a method to the madness, right?

In the NFL, it’s too early to be getting bent out of shape. A lot of crazy stuff can happen in a 17-week season, and with maybe a couple surprise teams, the world tends to right itself as the season progresses.

College ball shows some more intriguing trends. There is more parity in the level of starting talent around America than there’s ever been. Games that used to be cakewalks are now becoming last-second showstoppers.

Sure, the major BCS teams (USC, Texas, Ohio State, et al.) have superior depth, and likely always will, but smaller programs are “getting lucky” more and more often. Most programs have a quarterback, running back and/or receiver that can put points on the board, and from there anything can happen.

Teams who aren’t from major conferences are routinely in the discussion of “busting” the Bowl Championship Series, and it seems like the country’s elite cannot rest on their laurels, even for a single week. The days of USC beating Eastern Washington 70-3 aren’t extinct, but they are certainly an endangered species.

Essentially, in all high levels of competitive American pigskin, the playing field seems increasingly level. Bookies are gargling Draino, television broadcasters and journalists are looking like tools (me included, from time to time) and I am loving every minute of it.

Back to silence for me … wait, do I hear “Warehouse” in the next room?

As seen in Thurs., Sept. 27 edition of The (Western) Gazette.